riverdale season 7, episode 7, betty cooper

‘Riverdale’ season 7, episode 7 review: Downright unconstitutional

The dreaded milk man struck again in Riverdale season 7, episode 7.

Last week’s Riverdale gave us a rare reprieve from murder, so of course the milk man mystery climbed to new heights in season 7, episode 7. We actually saw the unfamiliar face of the killer in this episode, as he rudely intruded on an unsuspecting Brad Rayberry.

I would give anything for this to not be what it looks like, because it’s going to break my heart to see Jughead lose his newfound mentor and father figure. I absolutely loved their scenes together, especially this episode’s amazing meeting with Principal Featherhead and Dr. Werthers. The look on Jughead’s face was everything. It wasn’t just admiration for Rayberry’s confidence and intellect, but also a hint of disbelief that someone, let alone this particular someone, was actually standing up for him. I want him to have that so badly.

Strangely, both of the murders (or potential murders in Rayberry’s case) have been most closely tied to Jughead, but also to Pep comics. Maybe Dr. Werthers is on to something with this whole “comics are the devil’s work” thing! Or perhaps, he’s the one behind the whole thing, and he’s simply adding fuel to the fire for his puzzling agenda.

Even though the milk man’s face wasn’t one we’ve seen before, it’s still quite likely that someone we know in Riverdale is pulling the strings. It doesn’t seem like Hal Cooper to let someone else do the dirty work, so this may eliminate him as a suspect, but Clifford Blossom and Dr. Werthers are both very suspicious. Or maybe this is just a really intense marketing scheme by Pep comics! They do seem to always be complaining about money and resources.

Of course, all of this murder stuff isn’t nearly as scandalous as what Betty and Archie were caught doing in last week’s episode. Once the “Real Housewives of Riverdale” got a hold of the news, it wasn’t long before the whole town new. And due to the predictably cruel nature of the world, Betty was mercilessly slut shamed while Archie was applauded.

Even Frank was surprisingly chill to Archie, considering how hard he cracked down on Archie and Cheryl. He went from “you need to be the man of the house” to “boys will be boys” shockingly fast, which just proves that he is not to be trusted in Riverdale season 7.

Alice, obviously, was way less chill, and decided to lay down the discipline on her “out of control” daughter. I will say, the punishment is not what I expected though. In order to make sure Betty had no more time for peeping through Archie’s window, Alice sentenced her to appear on her daily TV program “Riverdale Grandstand.”

Somehow, despite being on every single day, “Riverdale Grandstand” was only celebrating its 50th episode, which was a pretty big deal for everyone involved. That includes Betty, but for very different reasons. After being relentlessly shamed for her harmless curiosity, she decided to really give everybody something to talk about during the broadcast.

Between her scandalous “twirl,” slapping “Troy,” and sticking up to Dr. Werthers, Betty is continuing to come into her own in the most magnificent way in Riverdale season 7. Alice, and everyone else, need to get on board! I would maybe feel bad for Alice saying that Betty broke her heart if she’d proven yet that she actually has one in this season. For right now, she’s still giving major season 1 vibes, if not worse.

For Veronica’s part in the peep show that shook the town, she lost her allowance and was forced to get a job at, ironically, the Babylonium, which is the town’s movie theatre in the 50s. Well, the joke was on Hiram and Hermione, because their poor excuse for parenting turned into their downfall when Veronica took the theatre right out from under them!

This was my favorite Veronica storyline in Riverdale season 7, so far. It showed off the best parts of her personality. Her kindness and generosity, her appreciation for beauty, her talent and brain, and of course, her business sense! I can’t wait to see what she does with all of that after Riverdale season 7, episode 7.

Last but not least, we have to talk about Kevin, who broke my heart time and time again in this episode of Riverdale. 50s Sheriff Keller is a mere shadow of the man he once was, and he is not liking what he’s seeing develop with Kevin. Also, he obviously went to the Alice Cooper school of punishment, because I’m not sure how joining the basketball team is going to curb Kevin spending too much time around boys.

Apparently, you “can’t be a real man until you’ve slept with a woman,” so Kevin tragically felt like he needed to prove himself by making a date with Twila Twist. It was so sad to hear Kevin realize and acknowledge the injustice of having to prove something that Archie didn’t, but I did love the camaraderie that formed between Kevin and Archie in Riverdale season 7, episode 7, and hope that it continues.

I didn’t think it could get any more heartwrenching than seeing Kevin crying in front of Twila Twist because of his deep fear and sadness, but it completely shattered me when we learned that it was Kevin’s father who set the whole thing up. I’m praying for a reconciliation story for these two, but that’s going to be a tough one to get over.

Also, how many storylines in Riverdale season 7 are going to unfold just because someone told Julian to say something? Why is this guy so suggestible. We’ll see what he has to say, and to whom, in the next episode!