riverdale season 7 episode 5, jughead jones

‘Riverdale’ season 7, episode 5 review: The keeper of the typewriter keys

Jughead’s gain became Jughead’s loss in Riverdale season 7, episode 5.

We took a different kind of dive into Jughead’s mind in Riverdale season 7, episode 5. It seems like the show keeps finding creative ways to let us into his mind, and giving us a front row seat to his stories was one of the most fun yet!

I love the continued use of the comic book theme in Riverdale season 7. It’s been an awesome homage to the source material for the show, without being used heavy handedly. I definitely love it a lot more than that weird council of Clifford Blossom, Principal Featherhead, and Dr. Werthers does.

I’m so confused about what these guys are up to and what they’re making comic books the scapegoat for, but I highly doubt it’s going to be anything good for the characters of Riverdale. I would also love to get a copy of their “extensive research” on the influence of comic books on violence. Consider me a skeptic.

Sadly, we did learn from this terrible trio that Ethel has been forced into a vow of silence at Sisters of Quiet Mercy. That poor girl! Somebody needs to stage another breakout of that place immediately, because she’s already been through more than enough. And also because that was an awesome episode of Riverdale.

I am very curious why Clifford was so happy to hear that Ethel was keeping her mouth shut. Could it be because he’s scared of being identified as the mysterious milk man? I’m also intrigued by the notion that their “grasp of the situation” grows more precarious the more people focus on the murder. The Riverdale High administration has been featured more in season 7 than almost ever before, so it seems like they’re definitely up to something big. Especially if they’re in league with Clifford Blossom, one of the top suspects for the milk man killer! Although, with all of this talk of getting the attention away from the murder, Dr. Werthers is starting to look like a compelling suspect as well.

Once it was thoroughly established how dangerous comic books are, we spent most of Riverdale season 7, episode 5 diving into the new comic book stories that Jughead was writing for Pep comics. And while they did focus on Archie and the gang at Riverdale High, the “Homeroom of Horrors” stories were a whole lot creepier than the Archie comics you might know and love!

I loved his “Keeper of the Keys” narrator and it brought me right back to my childhood watching “Tales from the Crypt” stories, some of which honestly still haunt me to this day. Jughead did a great job tapping into the moral lessons dressed in a creepy, crawly, cringy package vibe of those old horror tales, and it made for a really fun episode.

I won’t get too deep into each of the “Homeroom of Horrors” stories, since I think it’s unlikely that they’ll have much of an impact on future episodes of Riverdale season 7, but here are some random thoughts I had while watching:

  • Julian’s brutishness makes me really miss Jason’s perpetual silence.
  • It’s so weird to have a boy’s locker room scene without Reggie! Are we ever going to see that guy again? At this point, it looks like Julian is kind of taking over for him.
  • I lowkey love that Nana Blossom is out setting literal traps on the road for her chronically horny, leprotic granddaughter. Peak feminism, right there.
  • I really want Madelaine Petsch to display that Cheryl painting in her house once Riverdale wraps. If not, I guess I’ll take it.
  • Juggy really laid it on thick for “bland Betty,” the “plain Jane with a ponytail mane.” Doesn’t he know he loves her?
  • I will always love seeing Veronica and Betty as partners in crime.
  • Archie wishes he could be as charming as Jughead wrote him to be. Who’s the real lady killer here?
  • I’m sure it goes without saying, but Archie’s scream was Oscar-worthy.
  • I really did not think they were going to cut him in half at his hips. Why not go down the middle from top to bottom? How did they decide who got the top and bottom half? Why are they still hanging out with the dead halves of Archie? These are the answers I need the most.

Sadly, Veronica was not as fond of Jughead’s stories, and it may mean the end of the affection that was growing between the brunettes. I really wish they had explored this a bit longer, but I’m also excited to see where each of these characters go from here. I would love it if they could regain some sort of friendship, at the very least though.

When Veronica was pointing out Jughead’s demonization of sexuality, vanity, and women, for just a second I thought they were going to give a big nod to Jughead’s comic book asexuality. They’re taking inspiration from the comics more than ever in Riverdale season 7, so this would be a perfect time to explore it! Unfortunately, it was simply a half baked reason to break up this couple with surprisingly enjoyable chemistry.

Of course, Jughead might have far bigger problems on his hands, now that Clifford’s squad is looking to crack down on the people who make the big bad comic books. As exciting as it is, this could be a really bad time for him to have a byline out there! Especially since he was already under suspicion for the murder of Ethel’s parents. Hopefully he can channel the Archie charm that we now know he has inside to talk, or write his way out of this one!